


Being There

by sanctuary_for_all



Series: (There Is No) After You [2]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: But apparently I'm incapable of doing that, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings, Fix-It, I know I said I wasn't going to fix it, M/M, so many feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:53:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28946973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanctuary_for_all/pseuds/sanctuary_for_all
Summary: When a nightmare shows Mac the worst-case scenario, he ends up confronting a few things (fix-it to 5x05).
Relationships: Jack Dalton/Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Series: (There Is No) After You [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2123124
Comments: 5
Kudos: 55





	Being There

**Author's Note:**

> So, as it turns out, I am completely incapable of writing unfixed angst. As such, this series goes as follows - the first fic is pure angst, and the second fic turns the angst from the first fic (and the episode that caused it) into a nightmare that the characters wake up from. The world they wake up to is, of course, much better than the one they left.  
>   
> I am also, as it turns out, incapable of writing Mac and Jack as truly platonic for very long. So if you're looking for pure angst or heterosexuality, you'll want to skip this chapter. If you want angst that is then completely and totally fixed, read them both. If you want pure fix and emotional hurt/comfort, just read this one.

Mac jerked awake, the dark interior of the jet so exactly like it had been in the nightmare that at first he wasn't sure he'd left it. Or worse, that it had somehow been reality all along, and anything else had been a dream where he'd tried to escape the awful truth.

Then he heard Jack mumble something like "yippee kai yay" from the jet's couch, clearly caught up in the middle of a dream of some kind. The aching loneliness that had started to stretch through him snapped into relief so sharp it brought tears to his eyes, and it was as instinctive as breathing to get up out of his chair and move closer.

Mac sank to the floor next to Jack, close enough to stare at Jack's profile in the dim light. He hadn't admitted it to anyone, but he'd been terrified when they'd first gotten the call from Walker saying that Jack had ended up in critical condition after Kovac's explosion. He hadn't even known then about Jack's suspicions concerning the real Kovac – they'd been on the plane well before the postcard could get to them – or the fact that Jack would climb out of his hospital bed to help them go after her.

All he'd known was that Jack had nearly died, and he hadn't been there. Sneaking in to rescue hostages from a terrorist was exactly their sort of mission, and if Mac had been by his side like he should have been he had no doubt they would have been able to diffuse the bomb _and_ saved the hostages. If nothing else, he could have come up with a way to at least partially neutralize the explosion or make sure Jack was more well-protected.

But Mac hadn't been there, and so pure luck had been the only thing watching Jack's back in that warehouse. Mac had nearly lost everything to simple chance, and the terror of it had burned even when he'd been smiling at Jack in the hospital bed. It had followed him even after they'd finished the mission, blossoming into a full-blown nightmare about what might have been the moment he closed his eyes.

But now, in the quiet, there was the slow, steady sound of Jack breathing. Mac made his own breathing match as he slowed his heart back down, staring at Jack's face like it would disappear the moment he looked away again. His fingers itched to reach out and touch him somehow, the same urge he'd had since he'd first seen him, but he'd always been so careful about touching Jack and now seemed like the most dangerous possible time to break it.

As if he'd somehow said the thought out loud – he hadn't, he _knew_ he hadn't – Jack suddenly opened his eyes. He blinked a few times, awareness slowly sliding into his gaze as he turned to look at Mac, then smiled. "Hey, Butch."

Mac gave him an exasperated look, trying to ignore the lump that suddenly formed in his throat. "I didn't make a sound, and you were deeply enough asleep to still be dreaming. There is no _way_ you should be awake right now."

Jack's smile just widened. "Then it looks like my Mac radar is still working at full strength."

He shifted, wincing a little in pain, and Mac immediately moved to get up. "We have some—"

Even though the movement made him wince harder, Jack's hand immediately shot out and grabbed Mac's arm. "No, I'm okay. Only thing that fixes broken ribs is time."

Mac slowly sat back down, careful not to pull his arm out of Jack's grip. Jack's hand moved anyway, sliding down Mac's arm like he was preparing to let go but couldn't quite make himself yet, but when their hands connected they both just... stopped.

Mac swallowed, linking their fingers together more firmly. It was still just as dangerous as it had ever been, if not more so, but the idea of letting go completely wasn't something he was capable of contemplating at the moment. "Just because it'll take time for you to heal doesn't mean you should be in pain."

There was something soft in Jack's eyes as his grip tightened on Mac's hand. "Hey, I've got you here. I'm gold." Then he seemed to realize something, brows lowering. "Shouldn't you be asleep, though?"

Mac shook his head, pushing away the images that rose up in the back of his head. "I'm not sleeping again, at least not tonight." He let out a breath, unsteady enough to betray him. "You were dead."

"Ah." There was a world of understanding in Jack's voice. He had plenty of nightmares of his own.

Then his voice softened. "I'm okay, though." His thumb stroked lightly back and forth along the side of Mac's hand. Mac wasn't even sure Jack knew he was doing it, and Mac certainly wasn't planning on bringing it up. "You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I do." He looked into Jack's eyes, thinking about the world where they would never be able to have this conversation. "But you'd be more okay if I'd been there."

Jack's brow lowered. "You being there helped me uncover the real Kovac. There's no way I could have pulled that off without you."

It wasn't enough. "But if I'd picked up the phone when you tried to—"

Jack squeezed his hand, cutting him off. "I was calling to give you a verbal version of the postcard. That's it. Even if we'd connected, you wouldn't have been at the standoff anyway."

"I should have been." Mac's voice cracked, and he blinked hard against the sudden sting in his eyes. "And if I hadn't left the way I did, you would have made sure I was."

Pain flashed in Jack's eyes. "Don't do this, Mac," he said, voice thick. "You aren't responsible for what I do or don't do. It's your life, and you have every right to live it however the hell you want to."

"You aren't denying it, though." He wasn't sure what he was chasing after, but he couldn't bear the thought of letting it go again. "I know they said it was against the rules, but you've never really cared about that."

Jack didn't say anything for a long moment, then he swallowed. "I knew you'd do fine without me." The words were rough, that edge to his voice where he was trying to sound optimistic but it wasn't really working. "That's a good thing, Mac. Even I knew that."

He hadn't been fine. He'd just made sure he was far enough away not even Jack could see it, which meant he'd had to run pretty damn far. He'd missed Jack just as much as Jack had missed him, but he hadn't given in to it because he'd known his dad would use it to get him back. So he'd buried it, just like he did everything else that was too big for him to deal with.

He'd buried a lot of things when it came to Jack. It was one of the many ways he hadn't been fair to Desi.

Now, he closed his eyes and pressed a kiss against the back of Jack's hand. "No more leaving, okay?" he breathed. "For either of us."

Jack had gone so still you almost couldn't tell he was still breathing. Then, after what seemed like a small eternity, he pulled their joined hands up to press a kiss against the back of Mac's. "You've got me as long as you want me."

Mac's lips curved at that, chest lighter than it had been in at least a year. "I'm expecting at least a few decades."

Jack smiled, his expression bright in the darkness. "I'm sure I can manage that."

**Author's Note:**

> Come check out my [original fiction,](https://jennifferwardell.wixsite.com/mybooks) my [blog,](http://jennifferwardell.blogspot.com) or say hi to me on [Tumblr](http://sanctuaryforalluniverses.tumblr.com)!


End file.
